


if you wait around a while

by joshllyman



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Agender Sugawara Koushi, Mostly Canon Compliant, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Kageyama Tobio, Nonbinary Sugawara Koushi, Other, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:35:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23381032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joshllyman/pseuds/joshllyman
Summary: It’s a long while before Hinata bounces up to them. “Where’s Suga-san?”Kageyama huffs and doesn’t look up at Hinata. “He’s right here, dumbass, open your eyes.”Suga flinches without meaning to, a full-body shiver that’s noticeable to even the unobservant. Kageyama is not unobservant.His voice is quiet when he speaks. “Are you alright, Sugawara-san?”Suga takes a deep breath. “Yes. I just—it’s not he. I use they/them pronouns.”They’re not sure what to expect. Sometimes a declaration like this is followed with laughter, or cruel words. Kageyama simply looks confused.“Alright,” he says slowly.
Relationships: Kageyama Tobio & Sugawara Koushi, Kageyama Tobio/Sugawara Koushi
Comments: 13
Kudos: 229





	if you wait around a while

Kageyama is still a tough nut to crack.

Even after a few months of knowing each other, Suga still hasn’t ever seen him smile. They’re getting to know each other, slowly, spending time together at practice. Suga advises him on the preferences of their teammates, on the best ways to acknowledge a job well done for each player, and although Kageyama takes to their advice easily enough, he still looks stilted with it. Uncomfortable. 

It’s just another day, just another practice. Ukai had put together a binder for them, different plays that are setter-focused, and granted them time to look it over while the rest of the team did receiving drills. Kageyama is standing close to them, their shoulders brushing as they study it. Occasionally he murmurs something about a play, and Suga will respond, but otherwise it’s quiet between them. 

It’s a long while before Hinata bounces up to them. “Where’s Suga-san?”

Kageyama huffs and doesn’t look up at Hinata. “He’s right here, dumbass, open your eyes.”

Suga flinches without meaning to, a full-body shiver that’s noticeable to even the unobservant. Kageyama is not unobservant.

His voice is quiet when he speaks. “Are you alright, Sugawara-san?”

Suga takes a deep breath. “Yes. I just—it’s not he. I use they/them pronouns.”

They’re not sure what to expect. Sometimes a declaration like this is followed with laughter, or cruel words. Kageyama simply looks confused.

“Alright,” he says slowly. 

Hinata seems undeterred, unfazed by the entire interaction. “Sawamura-san said to come practice quicks with me, Suga-san!”

Suga can feel Kageyama’s eyes on them as they press the binder into his hands. “Sure thing, Hinata,” they agree, and the weight of Kageyama’s gaze follows them through the rest of practice.

\---

It’s more surprising to Suga that it didn’t come up earlier. 

It probably should have, all things considered. They’d come out to Daichi and Asahi as a first year, tiny and terrified and still getting to know them, and Asahi had hugged them tight to his chest and promised it didn’t matter to him. Daichi was quieter, but swore that if anyone ever hurt them he’d make them regret it.

Nishinoya had bounced into practice the first day of his first year and introduced himself with his pronouns, which set a precedent for the rest of them to do the same, and that made it easy enough for Suga to come out to them. No one said anything at all, which was surprising and relieving.

With the first years, it just hadn’t come up. There was always something else, something bigger to worry about, and then months passed and Suga...forgot, almost. Like it wasn’t that a big of a deal in the first place. And no, it shouldn’t be, and yet.

It tears at Suga’s mind that night, keeping them up when they should be sleeping. No one had ever reacted the way Kageyama had and it bothered them, sinking deep under their skin and settling there like a heavyweight inside of them. When sleep finally comes, it comes fitfully, and there are bags under their eyes when they wake.

\---

Kageyama finds them after practice the next day, after most of the locker room has cleared out, and Suga’s stomach twists with anxiety before he ever opens his mouth.

“Sugawara-san,” Kageyama says. His voice is stiff, but after a moment he bows low. “I apologize for misgendering you the other day.”

Suga is speechless, with Kageyama bent at the waist in front of them. “That’s alright,” they say slowly. “I never told you.”

“Still, I shouldn’t have assumed.”

Suga blinks at him several times. “Your apology is accepted, Kageyama-kun,” they say, and Kageyama stands back to his full height.

Suga grabs the rest of their things and hefts their bag over their shoulder. Kageyama is still standing awkwardly in front of them, brows furrowed in concentration and face tense.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, then?” Suga offers.

Kageyama opens his mouth several times before shutting it again. Suga waits, trying to be patient as he attempts to form a sentence even while their own anxiety rolls through them in waves.

“Tomorrow,” Kageyama says finally, and Suga exhales as Kageyama turns on his heel and leaves the locker room.

\---

“I talked to my sister about you,” Kageyama says, abrupt and blunt as ever, and Suga looks up from the lunch they’d previously been enjoying.

They’d taken it outside today, the lure of the sunshine and the scent of summer in the air too strong for them to ignore. They set aside their bento and look up at their kouhai. Kageyama clutches a milk carton tightly in one fist.

“I didn’t know what you meant,” he explains. He’s stiff, tense, and Suga suspects this is a continuation of the locker room apology from the week before. “When you said about your pronouns. I didn’t know what you were talking about.”

Suga relaxes, a gentle smile crossing their face. “Would you like to sit down, Kageyama-kun?” they offer.

Kageyama seems to consider this before accepting, his body moving robotically to sit beside Suga. Suga turns so they’re facing him.

“I didn’t know you had a sister,” they begin, and this seems to be a breachable enough topic for Kageyama to relax, just a little.

“Miwa,” he says. “She lives in Tokyo.”

“Do you talk to her often?” Suga asks.

Kageyama nods. “Once a week or so.”

“And you asked her about me.”

Kageyama stiffens again. “I didn’t know what you meant,” he says defensively, and Suga reaches out automatically to place a hand on his knee.

“It’s alright, Kageyama-kun,” they say. Kageyama stares down at the contact between them. “I’m not upset.”

Kageyama doesn’t look up from Suga’s hand. “She said it’s not just boy or girl.”

“She’s right,” Suga offers. They withdraw their hand, and Kageyama looks back up at their face.

“So you’re not a boy?”

“Nope,” Suga answers. 

Kageyama seems to hesitate. “What...are you?”

Suga grins. “I’m a mystery, Kageyama-kun.”

Kageyama doesn’t reply. He sips from his milk carton and the sound of the straw sucking dry air grates against Suga’s ears.

\---

“Agender,” Suga says to Kageyama.

They’re doing laps around the campus as a warm-up. Suga, Daichi and Asahi have a habit now of forming a wall between Kageyama and Hinata when they’re running so they don’t take off like maniacs, and Suga had pushed themself toward Kageyama today, leaving Daichi and Asahi to surround Hinata. Kageyama’s a faster runner than they are, but he slows his pace to match Suga’s, which Suga recognizes as a significant kindness.

“Agender?” Kageyama repeats.

“Mm,” Suga answers. Their steps sync up so that their feet are hitting the pavement at the same time. “It means I don’t have a gender at all.”

“Oh,” Kageyama answers.

Suga counts the steps in their head, all the way to sixty, before Kageyama speaks again.

“But some people are both,” he says.

“Bigender,” Suga says. “Or genderfluid.”

“And some people are neither?”

“Non-binary is the broad term,” Suga says. “But there are a lot of different ways to exist besides boy or girl.”

Thirty, thirty-one, thirty-two. “Some people change their names.”

Suga inclines their head. “Some people do. I didn’t.”

Up to nearly two hundred before Kageyama speaks again. “Thank you for explaining, Sugawara-san.”

Suga grins at him. “Thank you for asking, Kageyama-kun.”

\---

“It’s those Karasuno kids.”

“They beat Shiratorizawa.”

“I heard they shut out Ushijima.”

“I heard they’re ruthless.”

“I heard they’re amazing.”

The whispers follow them through the halls, into the locker rooms, onto the court at Nationals. Suga does their best to ignore them, trying not to let anything get to their head, but it’s not easy when everyone stares at them wherever they go.

It makes Suga feel vulnerable in a way they haven’t in a long time.

Asahi seems to sense this and presses in close to them when he can, a protective hand on their shoulder. His height and stature are intimidating, and his presence is unknown here the way it is in Miyagi, so opposing teams tend to stay away from him. Suga appreciates it more than they can say.

“So you’re the famous crows who beat down the eagles?”

A voice Suga doesn’t know calls after them, and the team turns in near unison to face it. A team they don’t recognize in a black and blue uniform looms behind them, a tall, smirking boy in the center. He seems to be their heckler.

“You boast the famous Kageyama Tobio,” he says. Kageyama, several players away from Suga between Hinata and Kinoshita, raises his chin.

“We fight as a team,” he answers.

Suga remembers not that long ago when he wanted to play the whole game by himself and can’t believe how far he’s come.

“Heard you usurped your senior setter, Kageyama,” the boy says. “Heard you took his spot with no remorse.”

Suga’s eyes fall shut. Asahi’s hand on his shoulder tightens, and Suga hears the way his jaw opens to speak, but Kageyama beats him to it.

“Sugawara-san is a great player, and I respect  _ them _ very much.” Suga opens their eyes, and Kageyama’s staring at them across the players between them. “None of us would be where we are today if it weren’t for them.”

The boy doesn’t seem to know how to respond to this. His eyes find Suga, and then Asahi, standing protectively behind them.

“Good luck to you,” Kageyama says, and he turns his back on the stranger. 

The rest of the team follows suit. 

It’s several minutes before Suga can breathe normally again. Daichi checks in, and Asahi doesn’t leave their side. Kageyama appears at Suga’s periphery, and Asahi looks down with a question in his eyes. Suga nods, and Kageyama approaches.

“I’m sorry,” he says, and Suga instantly waves him away.

“Don’t be,” they say. “There’s always gonna be assholes like that guy.”

Kageyama frowns. “It shouldn’t be like that.”

Suga exhales, something reminiscent of a laugh escaping their lungs. “Of course it shouldn’t be. But not everyone’s as cool about it as the guys on the team.”

Kageyama nods, the frown still etched deep into his face. Suga reaches out and touches his forearm.

“Thank you, Kageyama-kun,” Suga says quietly.

Kageyama looks down at Suga’s hand. “Of course, Suga-san.”

\---

“I think I’m non-binary.”

The admission takes Suga by surprise. They’re sitting at a picnic bench outside an ice cream shop three days before graduation, their ankles knocking together under the table, and Kageyama says it nonchalantly as anything. Suga’s tongue recedes slowly into their mouth, the taste of chocolate filling it with sweetness.

“Alright,” Suga says. “What pronouns should I use for you?”

Kageyama doesn’t look away from the treat in his hand. “They/them. Like you.”

Like Suga. Suga watches Kageyama as they lick around the bottom of the cone to keep a drip of ice cream from hitting their hand. 

“Should I tell everyone else?” they ask, a frown creasing their features.

“Whatever makes you feel comfortable,” Suga answers. Kageyama nods, but still seems disquieted. “Have you told anyone else?”

Kageyama takes another slow lick from their cone before they answer. “Miwa knows.”

The next time Kageyama’s ankle bumps Suga’s, they tangle them together. Kageyama looks up at them with a question in their eyes. 

“Thank you for telling me, Kageyama-kun,” Suga says. “Thank you for trusting me.”

Their eyes lock for a long moment. Suga’s ice cream, forgotten in their hand, goes limp on top and begins to drip down the cone.

“Tobio would be alright,” Kageyama answers. Their eyes are fierce and intensely blue. “If you wanted.”

Suga nods, something bright blooming in their chest. “Tobio. Thank you.”

Kageyama reaches over and catches the melted soft serve dripping down Suga’s hand with their finger. They suck it into their mouth without thinking and go back to their own cone.

Their ankles are still locked together under the table, and they don’t separate until the sun begins to set and the ice cream is long gone.

**Author's Note:**

> title from superfruit's the promise (yes it's a cover no i don't know who the original artist is)  
> thanks forever to my team  
> links to socials in profile


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